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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28567425">You Are In Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsocold/pseuds/heartsocold'>heartsocold</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Christmas Gift Fics 2020 [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Merlin (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Arguing, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Boys In Love, Established Relationship, Fluff, Insecure Merlin (Merlin), Oblivious Merlin (Merlin), Tooth-Rotting Fluff, lots of hugging</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:47:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,337</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28567425</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsocold/pseuds/heartsocold</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>One night, he wakes,<br/>Strange look, on his face,<br/>Pauses, then says,<br/>“You’re my best friend,”<br/>And you knew what it was,<br/>He is in love.</p><p>Or: the one where Merlin doesn’t realize they’re in love until he does.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), briefly - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Christmas Gift Fics 2020 [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2069541</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>131</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You Are In Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexSun2004/gifts">AlexSun2004</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I am terribly sorry for how late this is oh my god. The holidays were so busy for me and then it was really hard to find the inspiration to write on the days in between and I wanted to do your prompt justice. Nevertheless, I quite like how this turned out so hopefully you do too. Happy New Year, I suppose &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Merlin watches the way Gwen’s face lights up as she spots Lance entering the cafe. He watches as Lance grins when he sees his girlfriend waving him over. His eyes catalogue the way they both reach out, the kiss they exchange as a greeting so obviously filled with love. They pull apart but they linger in each other’s space, taking a few moments to simply look at one another. It’s sickenly sweet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It must be nice to be so in love, huh?” Merlin comments quietly, wistfully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both turn to look at him bashfully. Gwen kicks his shin under the tables, her touch light and playful. “You would know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He frowns. “Why would I know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lance rolls his eyes, taking a sip of Gwen’s coffee and scoffing. “Don’t try to play coy, Merlin. We are friends with you and Arthur both, in case you’ve forgotten.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So? Arthur and I aren’t in love,” At his friends’ incredulous looks, he continues. “I mean we’re comfortable with each other and we’re happy and I guess you could say we’re -- smitten, I suppose but we’re not -- not in love.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Merlin,” Gwen coos fondly, one hand reaching out to pat him on his forearm. “You’re so stupid sometimes. Truly.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merlin’s jaw drops in surprise and he sputters indignantly as Lance nods in agreement. “Completely and utterly blind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After he’s left his friends and returned to the safety of his (Arthur’s) apartment, he contemplates his relationship.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Three months into their relationship, Merlin and Arthur are at a party. Merlin’s been with Gwaine all night - so he’s most definitely inebriated - while Arthur’s been somewhere with Leon and whoever else so they haven’t seen much of each other all night, despite having come together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The room is dark, save for the multi-colored disco lights that flash every so often and yet, Merlin knows Arthur’s watching him. He can feel it in the way his blood sings in his veins and his skin prickles so he glances around the room until he can spot his boyfriend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur’s sitting on the island that separates the living room and the kitchen. His blonde hair is ruffled and his flushed skin gleams with sweat as the colored light flashes on him. Leon, Morgana and Gwen are all standing around him, wrapped up in a conversation but he’s clearly not paying them any attention. His eyes are locked on Merlin, dark with lust but there’s also something else in his gaze that Merlin can’t even begin to decipher in his drunken state. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur smiles slightly, his lips lifting on one corner to reveal his crooked teeth that Merlin thinks is the most endearing thing in the world and Merlin grins back, feeling as though they’re the only two people in the room - maybe even on the face of the earth. Arthur beckons him forward and he goes easily, as though an invisible string was reeling him in. He collapses against Arthur’s chest, who in turn winds his feet around the back of Merlin’s legs and holds him tightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” Arthur breathes, nuzzling Merlin’s nose with his, their lips almost touching.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” Merlin responds, pressing forward to kiss him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Later on, when it’s time to leave, Arthur watches as Merlin fumbles with the buttons on his coat before he steps in, batting away Merlin’s clumsy fingers to do it for him, laughing and joking about how incompetent a drunk Merlin is.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With hindsight, Merlin realizes Arthur’s ‘I love you’ was in his every smile, every glance, every touch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>- </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s almost midnight on a Friday and Merlin’s only just completed an assignment that’s due at 11:59 p.m. He clicks on ‘submit’ and waits until he sees the green banner stating ‘You have submitted your assignment 12 minutes early’ flash on the computer screen before he stands from his chair, releasing a groan as he stretches and hears his back crack. He catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror - pale face marred with dark bruises under his red eyes, his hair even more of a mess than usual - and figures he could probably sleep for the next day or two.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His phone vibrates on his desk a minute or two later and he reaches for it, blinking owlishly at the message notification. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Arthur ❤</em>
  </b>
  <b>
    <em><br/>
</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>Did you finish your assignment?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Merlin snaps a photo of his laptop screen, the banner still flashing and sends it to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Merlin &lt;3</em>
  </b>
  <b>
    <em><br/>
</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>literally just submitted lmao</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Arthur ❤</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Perfect. I’m downstairs. Come meet me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Merlin &lt;3</em>
  </b>
  <b>
    <em><br/>
</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>???</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merlin shoves his phone into the pocket of his sweatpants and pulls the first sweatshirt he sees over his nakes torso, shoving his feet into a pair of sliders before he slips out the door. He makes his way downstairs, spotting Arthur’s car idling on the side of the road.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get in,” Arthur demands when Merlin is close enough to the car.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merlin complies, sliding easily into the passenger seat, leaning over to kiss his boyfriend ‘hello’ before he buckles his seatbelt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where are we going?” He asks as Arthur puts the car into ‘Drive’ and flips on his indicator.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m out of coffee at home so I figured we could go get some.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s midnight,” Merlin deadpans, shooting a text to Gwaine to tell him to lock the door sincere won’t be back tonight. “Also, I’m not dressed and I haven’t got my wallet or anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur glances at him quickly, his left hand reaching out to tangle his fingers with Merlin’s then coming to rest on Merlin’s lap. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“One, you look fine. A little bit like death warmed over but we’re going for midnight coffee so it doesn’t really matter. Two, since when do you need your wallet when you’re with me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merlin rolls his eyes, pinching the skin between Arthur’s thumb and forefinger lightly. “You’re a rich, insufferable prat.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You really do say the sweetest things to me, truly,” Arthur laughs and Merlin smiles and they make small talk as they make their way to the closest Starbucks with a drive-thru. Once they’ve got their coffees, Arthur parks the car in the open carpark and they make themselves comfortable in the trunk of his car.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a glint in the corner of his eyes and Arthur turns to it, realizing that it’s the light of the lamppost reflecting off the chain Merlin’s wearing. The chain that Arthur bought him and he hasn’t taken off since. Arthur reaches out to trace the pads of his fingers over the cool silver then diverts his gaze, dropping the chain when he feels Merlin’s eyes on him. His eyes land on the stars visible in the clear sky and he brushes his shoulder against Merlin’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look up,” He instructs and Merlin hums, leaning into the touch sleepily. He can feel himself drifting off, despite the caffeine in the coffee he’s drinking. Arthur leans his head against Merlin’s, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and Merlin snuggles closer, feeling content. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe, heaven was a place on earth. And maybe, Merlin was falling in love.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Six months into their relationship, Merlin thinks he’s ready for the next step. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” Arthur pauses to check, pupils dilated, lips plump and hair mussed. “We don’t have to do this if you’re not ready.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merlin traces his thumb over Arthur’s cheekbones. “I’m sure. Just -- promise me that you’ll still be here in the morning.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks away as he says the last line, knowing how pathetic he sounds. He half expects Arthur to laugh at him or ask the story behind his words - both of which will effectively kill the mood but he doesn’t. Instead, he gently grips Merlin’s face in the palms of his hands, redirecting his gaze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” He says softly. “I promise I’ll be here. Always. You have my word.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His voice rings of sincerity and then they’re kissing again. In the morning, Merlin wakes to the scent of burnt toast. He smiles to himself as he hears Arthur swear and he crawls out of bed to go find him in the kitchen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur grins when he sees him, eyes raking up and down his body appreciatively. “You’re wearing my shirt.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merlin hums, crossing the distance to wrap his arms around Arthur from behind as he places fresh slices of bread into the toaster. “You stayed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I did,” Arthur confirms, turning in Merlin’s arms so he can wind his arms around his shoulders and hold him close.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My last boyfriend didn’t. He never did,” He admits into Arthur’s collarbone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s a fool, then,” Arthur decides, pressing a kiss to the side of Merlin’s head. Merlin closes his eyes as something unfurls in his chest, spreading the rest of his body with warmth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After Arthur’s failed attempt at breakfast, they go out for lunch. They hold hands and kiss on the sidewalk and they play footsie under the table in the diner and Merlin feels as though he’s in paradise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course, things can only stay good for so long. It’s inevitable that something will go wrong. It all comes to a head a few weeks later. It’s been a rough few weeks for them both and they’ve barely seen each other - barely even spoke. Arthur’s been busy with work and Merlin had his Final Year exams going on and they’re both tired and frustrated so their emotions are running wild.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merlin’s insecurities have slowly been poisoning his thoughts and he’s scared damnit, scared that he’s losing the best thing in his life, scared that Arthur is slipping through his fingers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Words are said and they’re both screaming and he’s fucking terrified that Arthur’s going to leave him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s like you don’t even give a shit about me anymore! Is this your way of saying it’s over? Now that -- that we’ve had sex, you don’t want me anymore? Well fine! Just go, you -- you asshole! Just leave!” Merlin yells, turning his back to Arthur as his tears spill onto his cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The fight leaves Arthur’s body as Merlin’s words register and he steps closer to him, wrapping one arm around his chest from behind and another around his waist. He presses a kiss to the nape of Merlin’s neck, leaving his lips there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry. It’s not like that, Merlin, you know it’s not. I promise I don’t want to break up. I’ve just been busy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merlin sniffles and when he speaks, his voice is small. “Too busy to even send me a text?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s fair,” Arthur concedes. “I’ll do better next time, okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merlin nods, turning to hug Arthur properly. “I’m sorry I let my insecurities get to me. I know you wouldn’t just -- just use me for sex. That was a horrible thing to say. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright,” Arthur's voice is sure and soothing as he sways them gently. “Next time, just tell me when you’re feeling like that, yeah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Later that night, Merlin is on the verge of falling asleep when Arthur jerks himself awake. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” Merlin asks quietly into the silence of the night as he notes the strangle look on his face. It’s almost pensive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re my best friend,” Arthur says and Merlin nods, kissing him lightly and holding him close.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now he knows that was Arthur declaring his love for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Merlin &lt;3</em>
  </b>
  <b>
    <em><br/>
</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>wyd</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Arthur ❤ </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Work.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Attached is a picture of Arthur’s desk covered in a wide array of documents but Merlin’s eyes catch on the lone picture frame perched amongst the files. It’s a picture of Merlin. Not of them - not of Merlin </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> Arthur. A picture of Merlin alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s looking into the camera - or rather at someone beyond the lens - and he’s got a wide grin on his face, as though he was laughing. Merlin doesn’t remember when the picture was taken, he didn’t even know it existed and yet - Arthur had it framed in his desk for everyone to see. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This knowledge - combined with the realizations he’s had since he left Gwen and Lance a couple of hours ago - sends his emotions into overdrive and the love he feels for Arthur threatens to suffocate him. He finally understands all those people who lost their minds and fought wars for their loved ones. He thinks he’d do the same.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Merlin &lt;3</em>
  </b>
  <b>
    <em><br/>
</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>come home</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Arthur ❤</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>As soon as I can, I will.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The second Arthur walks through the door that night, Merlin is in his arms and his lips are on Arthur’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m in love,” He blurts, watching as amusement creeps into Arthur’s expression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are in love,” Arthur nods, enunciating every word slowly. “And so am I.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you. And you love me,” Merlin agrees, feeling as though he’s floating.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And we’re a happy family,” Arthur continues very seriously and Merlin scowls pushing him away. Arthur laughs, pulling him back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I had to. Wait, did you not know?” He raises both his eyebrows and Merlin blushes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that I didn’t know, </span>
  <em>
    <span>per se.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Merlin.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just didn’t put it together. It didn’t click before.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wha- How?” Arthur gapes at him and Merlin feels himself grow sheepish.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, I think I knew subconsciously? I just didn’t really think about it until today. Gwen and Lance said something and then I did some reflecting and then you sent that picture and you have that photo framed on your desk and it’s of me and I didn’t even know it existed and then everything just sort of </span>
  <em>
    <span>clicked.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s my favorite picture of you,” Arthur admits softly. “You were looking at me and you didn’t even realize the camera was there but you were so happy and I like seeing you smile. Especially when I’m having a bad day.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” Merlin swears, blinking furiously. “You’re incredibly sweet, you know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you’re incredibly daft. I can’t believe you never pieced it together.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I take it back. You’re an asshole. And in my defense, you never said it!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur rolls his eyes but the smile in his lips belies his fondness. “I love you. There. Now I’ve said it, happy?”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
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